premesso che devo ancora leggerli...
http://bleacherreport.com/articles/5252 ... ey-cliches
Top Twenty Worst Hockey Cliches
20. That is not a penalty you want to take.
Uh, no...I believe he did want to take the penalty, because it’s a lot of fun to be down a man in the NHL.
19. We need to take it one shift at a time.
Crap, is that why I suck at hockey? I’m always looking ahead to the third shift of next game, not this current shift!
18. The horses are in the barn, boys.
What horses? And why is there a barn in the arena?
17. It’s been a back and forth hockey game.
Yes, that’s what happens with two hundred feet of ice and a tiny rubber disc—it goes back and forth.
16. We need to put shots on net.
Dammit! Another reason why I suck at hockey! I forgot that the shot has to actually go on net. Take note, Flyers.
15. We need to be more consistent.
The Maple Leafs don’t have to worry about this—they are absolutely consistent. Because they consistently lose! Oh, snap! (Derek and Josh, please don’t kill me.)
14. If we get the right matchups, then we can win this game.
Translation: We have no chance in hell of winning unless the other coach puts out a team of mites.
13. He took a massive beating in that fight!
As opposed to the secondary line, “They seemed to have a great time waltzing out there on the ice.”
12. A two-goal lead is the most dangerous lead in hockey.
True. I’d much rather be winning by one goal than two goals. It’s safer.
11. It’s a team effort, it’s all about winning.
Don’t you for once want to see a player just say to the reporter, “You know, I couldn’t give a hoot about winning, I just want to set some records!” Oh wait—Terrell Owens has done this numerous times.
10. The European players are not interested in winning.
That’s right, they’re only in America for the fantastic health-care system and the crackerjack job that the government does.
9. He needs to just keep his head up.
Is that why he keeps getting those concussions?
8. We have to create more chances.
No s**t.
7. They really need to work harder out there.
That can’t be right, because to try is to risk failure. So that’s why the Flyers’ don’t try, because then they can’t fail. Actually, they still find a way.
6. Our goalie really bailed us out.
Yeah, if he had played any worse, we would’ve—lost.
5. We have to take advantage of our chances.
Oh, right—is that why I’m supposed to shoot when there is an empty net? Another reason why I suck at hockey (there are lots of these!).
4. It’s a lower-body injury.
Oh, because when he took that stick in the knee, I thought he broke his wrist.
3. It’s an upper-body injury.
Oy, again. But seriously, though, Americans are not going to stand for this B.S., so getting American love to the game is going to depend on not treating the fans like idiots.
2. We have to play a full game.
A major problem for every NHL team whose name does not start with Red and end with Wings.
1. We just have to go out and play our game.
Is that why these guys are getting paid millions of dollars? Because based on the Senators, I thought they were supposed to just half-ass their way to the next paycheck. Ba-zing!
